The Spiritual Role
of Men in the Family
Mark S. Roberti, Director of Stewardship
Heartland
Parishes of
I recently visited an 87 year old friend. He is a World War II veteran. We talked about the state of the Church and of the world. We both agreed that the state of the Church is looking up, but the state of the world is extremely precarious. “Men are not acting like men”, he told me. I shared with him my oft repeated belief that the world has already fallen over the precipice. No new president or political leader is going to be able to fix the mess we are now in. Only God can.
If God does intend this world to continue for any significant period, I submit He is going to have to renew His Church. To do that He is going to have to infuse a new spirit in us, particularly His men. On a more positive note, I believe God has begun to do just that.
Historians have listed the stages
of history of a nation/civilization.
The first moves from bondage to spiritual faith.
The second moves from spiritual faith to great courage. The third stage
moves from great courage to liberty.
The fourth moves from liberty to abundance.
The fifth stage moves from abundance to
complacency. The sixth stage moves
from complacency to apathy. The
seventh stage moves from apathy to moral decay.
The eighth stage moves from moral decay to dependence. And the last stage
moves from dependence to bondage. I’ll let you decide where the
Carl Wilson wrote a book called Our Dance Has Turned To Death, similarly chronicling stages in the decline of the family in the Greek and Roman civilizations. When you read those stages, which I am listing below, I must ask, “Does this not resonate with our culture today?” Particularly note the role of the man/father as the spiritual leader of the family.
In the first stage, men cease to lead their families in worship. Spiritual and moral development becomes secondary. Their view of God becomes naturalistic, measured, almost mechanical. In the second stage, men selfishly neglect care of their wives and children to pursue the machismo and perceived power that accompanies it. They boast bigger and better toys. The third stage involves men’s sexual values. They become sexually involved with other women and/or other men.
In the fourth stage, the role of women at home and vis-à-vis children loses its value and status. They revolt to gain access to material wealth and the freedom of sex outside of marriage. The emphasis becomes sex for pleasure. Marriage laws change. Divorce becomes easier.
In the fifth stage, husbands and wives compete against each other for money, home leadership, and the affection of their children. Many marriages end in separation or divorce. Children are often unwanted, aborted, abused, abandoned, molested, and undisciplined.
In the sixth stage, selfish individualism of all members of the family grows. The family and the culture are further weakened by internal conflict. The birthrate decreases producing an older population that has less ability to fend for itself.
Finally, unbelief in God becomes more complete, parental authority is diminished, and ethical and moral principles become almost non-existent.
The antidote, the medicine, is rooted right within the very nature of the problem. Men must spiritually lead their families again. Where they first abandoned their primary, God-given, responsibility they must assume it again.
In the Garden of Eden, Adam has a responsibility to protect Eve. Though Eve failed, Adam had the last clear chance to help her. That’s why the “fall” resulted from Adam’s sin, not Eve’s. Eve cooperated in the fall of mankind, but she did not cause it. Adam did. Then, he blamed the woman.
The one with the most toys when he dies does not win. He might well lose. Things in themselves are not a godly measure of success. He may already have lost his family. He could also have lost his eternal salvation.
What matters most are God and family. What matters most is relationship. Everything without that is some shade of empty. That’s the lesson of Adam and Eve.
Men, lead your families spiritually. In doing so, you will also lead them morally. If you are leading them spiritually and you are leading them morally, your life and your family’s life will be properly ordered. Then, you understand Catholic stewardship.