Forged in the Truth
Mark S. Roberti, Director of Stewardship & Development
Heartland Parishes of Ellis County

I recently attended the second phase of a men’s retreat called Marked Men for Christ. This organization, based near Denver, was started several years ago by Fr. John Lager, OFMCap., and Steve Spicer two dedicated Christian men. In an earlier article in the Northwestern Kansas Register I wrote of the powerful impact this retreat had on me and the other participants.

Toward the end of the first evening of the second phase, it poignantly struck me that the whole process is simply about truth. The men participating are asked to look truth straight in the eyes and honestly reflect upon how we measure up to that standard. "Where is your train wreck?" we each were asked? "What is keeping you from Jesus?" Everyone had an answer. Not one was alike. Yet, as I listened to the other men, our stories intersected in places. As one particular man spoke, I heard my story coming out of his mouth. He articulated it better than I, but his story was my story.

He spoke about that of which he was angry. He was angry that the lie which those of us in this era have bought into. This lie, he feels has unseated the truth. He was angry that his children and grandchildren would never experience the beauty, character, and values of the world in which he had been raised. He felt near powerless to stem the flow. He was angry that along the way he, too, had compromised to a certain extent, not doing that we he knows God would have expected of him. He was angry at the world. He was angry at himself. It was a righteous anger. It was a beautiful anger.

But where do you do go with this anger?" the facilitator asked. "Do you take it home with you, do you take it out on your wife and kids?" The soul group members replied, "Well, yes, at times I suppose I have." The facilitator asked, "You suppose you have? Or do you?" "I do," he responded.

"And how do you think that makes your wife feel, your children feel, ask the facilitator? "Well, sometimes it makes my wife uncomfortable. She walks away. She tells me she doesn’t want to talk about it. My children are grown now, but I know it caused some stress in their lives too."

"So let me get this right," the facilitator says, you have all this anger – and maybe it’s good and righteous anger, maybe it’s like the anger Jesus had toward the money changers – but then you come home unload on your wife and children? Am I hearing this right? Where is Jesus in that? Aren’t these the people you love most?"

Ding, ding, ding, ding, bells began going off in my brain at this point. Although someone else was taking, and another was prodding him, the Holy Spirit was talking to me in this breakout session. As the group begins to engage, I realized this was not just his story, or my story, was their story too. Our homes, those safe havens for us are not always sanctuaries within the world for our families...because of us.

As I reflected upon it even more that evening, I visualized myself – when my time comes – standing before God. "I gave you this wonderful wife and beautiful son," He says; "of all the people in your life why did you let these frustration creep into you home life? Why couldn’t you empty your cup before you walked in the door?"

Do you know how I would answer God? I’d say, "I don’t know, Lord."

Interestingly enough, at the beginning of the sessions when I was asked where my train wreck was, I couldn’t answer it on the spot. "I don’t know," I replied. "Which one?" I thought.

As I did my self-examination in the light of the truth that night, I found one of my train wrecks. And it wasn’t just something in the past.

What about you? Where is your train wreck? What’s keeping your from Jesus?

Should you want to sign up for a Marked Men for Christ weekend experience (retreat), the upcoming dates are September 24-26 and November 12-14.  Both retreats are in Denver.  I know there are already several men from the Hays area going.  For more information call MMFC toll free and ask for Steve Spicer 1-888-828-MMFC.  You can also check out their website at www.markedmenforchrist.org  Women, encourage your husbands.